animalstalkinginallcaps: OH HEYYYYY GUYS! HOW ARE YOU TODAY? NOW, I KNOW YOU’RE PROBABLY ASKING YOURSELF, “WHAT IS LAURIE DOING SUPER CRAZY WASTED AT NOON, IN PUBLIC, NAKED?” AND I’M HERE TO TELL YOU, BECAUSE I’M LAURIE AND I HAVE THE INSIDE SCOOP. SEE, WHAT HAPPENED IS THAT LAURIE RAN INTO STEVE AND HIS NEW “SIGNIFICANT OTHER” AT TARGET, IN THE TOWEL AISLE. YOU GUYS REMEMBER STEVE? HE WAS LAURIE’S BOYFRIEND FOR TWO AND A HALF LONG, STUPID YEARS WHERE SHE THOUGHT MAYBE THEY’D GET MARRIED AND LIVE IN BRENTWOOD BUT THEN STEVE GOT THAT JOB AT THE SOFTWARE COMPANY AND STARTED GROWING DISTANT. YOU REMEMBER THAT? BOY I SURE DO! WOOOOOOOO! AND THEN STEVE WAS ALL LIKE, “I’VE MET SOMEONE ELSE,” AND LAURIE HAD A LITTLE SIX MONTH VODKA VACATION AND HAD TO GO TO THE SPECIAL RETREAT! WELL, GUESS WHO’S GOING BACK SOON? CAN YOU GUESS? HUH? I’LL GIVE YOU A HINT: SHE’S PEEING ON HERSELF RIGHT NOW, WHICH IS WHAT SHE SHOULD BE DOING TO STEVE, BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT HE DID TO HER HEART.

animalstalkinginallcaps:

OH HEYYYYY GUYS! HOW ARE YOU TODAY? NOW, I KNOW YOU’RE PROBABLY ASKING YOURSELF, “WHAT IS LAURIE DOING SUPER CRAZY WASTED AT NOON, IN PUBLIC, NAKED?” AND I’M HERE TO TELL YOU, BECAUSE I’M LAURIE AND I HAVE THE INSIDE SCOOP.

SEE, WHAT HAPPENED IS THAT LAURIE RAN INTO STEVE AND HIS NEW “SIGNIFICANT OTHER” AT TARGET, IN THE TOWEL AISLE. YOU GUYS REMEMBER STEVE? HE WAS LAURIE’S BOYFRIEND FOR TWO AND A HALF LONG, STUPID YEARS WHERE SHE THOUGHT MAYBE THEY’D GET MARRIED AND LIVE IN BRENTWOOD BUT THEN STEVE GOT THAT JOB AT THE SOFTWARE COMPANY AND STARTED GROWING DISTANT. YOU REMEMBER THAT? BOY I SURE DO! WOOOOOOOO! AND THEN STEVE WAS ALL LIKE, “I’VE MET SOMEONE ELSE,” AND LAURIE HAD A LITTLE SIX MONTH VODKA VACATION AND HAD TO GO TO THE SPECIAL RETREAT! WELL, GUESS WHO’S GOING BACK SOON? CAN YOU GUESS? HUH?

I’LL GIVE YOU A HINT: SHE’S PEEING ON HERSELF RIGHT NOW, WHICH IS WHAT SHE SHOULD BE DOING TO STEVE, BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT HE DID TO HER HEART.

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    I’m a huge fan of seals…
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    I did a spit take with “SIX MONTH VODKA VACATION”
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    this blog is the best blog of all of the blogs.
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